Outside Pitch — "'Smooth' Is the Greatest Song of All Time" by Diane Martinez
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
We don't run sarcastic endorsements of music here at In Defense Of, but this article's a pretty fun ride, and we're unfathomably busy getting you ready for ZeroFest (Oct. 2–5! Four nights, twenty bands!). So, you know, enjoy responsibly.